Seriously Awesome Quotations

(Talking about government officials in Government)
Nick: And who’s the sheriff? Huh? Why don’t you find that out?

(Running into the back of the sanctuary)
Nick: I’ve found Narnia! I’ve seen the face of Aslan!

Nick (to Drew): You should totally be a bureaucrat, because I can tell you’re gonna live forever.

Nick: So it’s kinda like an apple.
Drew: Did you just make an analogy between the U.S. Bureaucracy and an apple?
Nick: I did not.
Drew: An analogy is a comparison between two things.
Nick: No it is not!

Nick: I am a lame duck because I quack and I have a limp.

Nick: If Mr. Moran came into class and said, “Guess what? I canceled the test,” I would have to bend down and kiss him.

Nick: Good job, Bethany. You rescued a pen.
Bethany: Do I get a badge?

Nick: What does the “O” stand for?
Mr. Goad: “Drink.”

Hannah: Andre, you are a pervert!

Andre: I’m not into football, I’m black.

Andre: Are there girls at the Grand Canyon? Cause I’m not going there if it’s just a bunch of dudes.

Nick: (to Laurelen) Who are you?
Laurelen: It’s me!

Taylor: Mr. Moran, what would you say if a guy took ten books on his honeymoon?
Nick: I would say, “Where’s my wife?”

Andre: Secret looooooversss……

Mrs. Newton: Are you Mr. Moran?
Mr. Goad: No, he’s upstairs and down the hall to the left and a lot uglier than me.

Mr. Goad: I better finish up soon. Ugly is going to come in here soon.

(Mr. Goad throws Mr. Menikoff a marker)
Mr. Menikoff: You rock my world.

Mr. Menikoff: Next time you write a quote, make you explain it, because if you don’t, it will be very sad. It will say, “No one will understand me, because I am not explained.” Quotes have feelings too.

Mr. Moran: I find it my mission to kill this fly.

Mr. Moran: When I was little, I always followed my brothers around and annoyed them. I would laugh at all their jokes and stuff. So, one day, they sat me down and told how to not laugh: just think of a tree. I mean seriously, there is nothing funny about a tree just sitting there with bark and stuff.

Mr. Moran: Think about what it must have been like before creation…
Nick: Yeah, I bet everyone just sat around and talked: “So, what did you have for breakfast this morning?” “Oh, the same thing you did.”

Alex: I was elected to lead, not to read!

Austin: I have to blow my nose.
(He takes an awfully long time in bathroom)
Alex: He’s been in there a really long time to just “blow his nose”…

Alex: I have to blow my nose *wink*

Austin: America is fat and getting fatter.

Nick: Did you say naked?

Andre: When you met me, did I seem really mild mannered, dule insipid, calm?
Andre: Sry, typo

Hannah: I love you like the leaves.

Hannah: Hey Nick, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada
Nick: Hey Andrew, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada
Andrew: ugh….

Laruelen: I am going to mutilate your face.

Nick: Hey, can I ask you a question?
Little kid in bathroom: OK.
Nick: Is your smeller broke?
Little kid: um……
Nick: Because it is overwhelming the smell of pepper up in here!

Alex: Don’t even touch that bag… It’s like the bag from that movie. Oh my gosh girl, I love that bag!

Jarrod: I live at the point of actuality- right where fiction meets the imagination.

Some kid in my 5th/6th grade class whose name I can’t remember: Yes, I got a 101!
Mr. Mercer: *sigh* No, that’s “lol.” It stands for “laugh out loud.”

Mr. Mercer: You all are goobers. I can see Alex’s mom just coming along and picking him off a goober tree.

Mr. Crosby: Nick, if you say, “hello?” one more time, I am going to make you write it 1000 times.
Austin (trying to trick me): Hey Nick.
Nick: Hello? …No!
Mr. Crosby: All right Nick…

(I was making a fool of myself in drama class)
Mr. Bundy: He’s my red haired Mr. Bean.

(During a history class lecture in 5th grade)
Mr. Mercer: So, then they came in and killed the people in their sleep… which apparently Nick thinks is funny.

Nick: …yeah, like PRESSURE! You know that song, don’t you?
Mr. Barttlet: *sigh* Yes Nick, we all know that song.

Austin: Hey, I’m Mr. Buu. I’m going to turn you into a cookie!

Alex: Let me get that man, let me get that…

Alex: America is fat. I am fat. Therefore I am America.

Nick: Can I have one of your muffins, Stuart?
Stuart: Why would I give you one of these, Nick? Andrew, do you want a muffin?

Alex: Mr. Goad, I see you got a facebook.
Mr. Goad: Yeah, I decided to be hip.

Caroline: Mr Moran, you should get a facebook.
Mr. Moran: What are you talking about? Don’t you see that I write on your wall everyday?!

Mr. Goad: Lewis, what did you think the moral of the story was?
Lewis: Um, I thought the moral was that you shouldn’t kill yourself unless you’re sure that the person you love is dead first.

Stuart: What do you want for Christmas, Andre?
Andre: A hard hat. I mean, just think about it. You could wear it anywhere, like when you go shopping and stuff.

Nick: Stuart, did you watch the lego photo-stop movie I that made? I posted it on facebook.
Stuart: Yes Nick. It was the biggest waste of time in my life.

Nick: Knowledge is power. Power leads to corruption. Therefore, the gaining of knowledge is unethical.

(We were working a math problem with the variables ‘m,’ ‘p,’ and ‘a’.)
Alex: Look, it spells “amp”!
Nick: And it spells “map”!
Alex: And “pam”!

Mr. Bartlett: All right class, the final debate of the year is going to be whether or not it would have been ethical for a Christian to join the fight against Britain in the American Revolution.
Angela: Well, what exactly was the American Revolution? I mean, I knew that America was free, but…

Angela: Do you eat the gristles on the chicken?

Mr. Moore: You guys are going to a prom? Are you going to dance with any girls?

Mr. Moore: You spilled your orange juice last time you poured it. Seth, pour Nick’s juice for him.

Mr. Moore: Do you see that plant? It was put there by God!

Andre: Relationships are like different kinds of cereal.

Nick: Mr. Crosby, since males were created before females, then technically, aren’t guys better than girls?
Alex: I’m telling the girls you said that!
(During lunch, he actually does)

Stuart: Well Nick, I guess I’ll be forced to see you tomorrow.

Laurelen: All buddies of Dr. Mohler are awesome; Nick is not awesome; therefore, Nick is not awesome.

Andrew: G’night gov’nor!
Johnny: His wife died.

Larry: Why do you burp so much?
Nick: I have problems with the gastric juices in my stomach
Larry: You’re full of crap, too.

(Mr. Moran pushes the door and holds his hand out as if he’s using the Force to close it)
Mr. Moran: See, that’s cool isn’t it. What would be more impressive is if I could open it again. (Pause) Actually I can, I’m just not going to show you.”

Alex: “Because God can see things, like the 9/11 attack, and stuff. He knows they’re coming.”
Mr. Moran: “Difficult to see, the dark side is.”

Alex: Jesus is God.
Mr. Goad: Uh… umm… I think we need to expand that a little…. I mean…. the words are escaping me… We need to upgrade this from a Mini Cooper to a sedan.

Laurelen (after reading “Oedipus the King”): I am so gonna name my child “Jocasta”
Hannah (who had read the whole play): No! Don’t do that; she kills herself.
Laurelen: Oh. Oh well.

Andre: Do you know how hard it is to groom yourself with no electricity?

Nick: I am full!
(You had to be there…)

Alex: All right you all put your hands in! We are the Caucasian, Negro, Polish squad!
Andre: And don’t forget Indian; I’m a little Indian, too.

Andre: Nick, I can’t believe you thought that I put baby oil in my hair! I put it on different parts of my body while I was weight lifting one time. It was an experiment…

Andre: I had to put baby Deandre up for adoption

Laurelen: That wall is so ugly.
Nick: Not as ugly as your face.
Laurelen: Nick! I am going to throw my shoe at you!
Nick: Oh man and that would hurt, too, because they are like the biggest things in the world.


2 Responses to “Seriously Awesome Quotations”

  1. ha! i had no clue Johnny said that as a follow up to my ‘govnor’ quote.

  2. Haha, well actually, it wasn’t really in response to you… he was telling me about a character in The Patriot, but from the timing, it really sounded like it was in response to you… and it was hilarious!

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